Many have wronged me (well, according to me that is, but for them it may not be…!)
The point is, I have been hurt by several people throughout my life.
Some have cheated me off money, some hurt physically, even worse was betrayal by some I have trusted the most…
Part of life, you may say…forgive and move on…
I have actually!
Forgiven them, even meet and greet cordially.
Question is ‘Have I truly forgiven them? Have I been able to accept them unconditionally?’
An image has ever been stuck in my head, ‘Trust is like a crumpled paper, you may straighten it, but it won’t be the same as it was before.’
Is it the same with forgiveness?
I forgive, but forget not! May be even forget, but it remains in the deep somewhere to just pop up and hurt some day for some while…
How then do I progress?
The Mother says, “When love is, the need for forgiveness does not exist.”(CWMCE 17, pg 387)
Forgiveness is a long obstacle course, taking one step a time asking the Divine’s grace to guide is the only help.
Forgiveness is praised by the Christian and the Vaishnava, but for me, I ask “What do I have to forgive and whom?” (Sri Aurobindo, aphorism 21)
The Mother tells us when asked about this aphorism when we ask forgiveness from the Divine, what we really hope is to remove the effects of the err we have committed. Instead, what we need to ask is the power to make the necessary progress (CWMCE 10, pg 46)
Do we all need a drastic or life changing event to be conscious of this wonderful gift of life we have?
This is a question that I started thinking about some time ago. There were several incidents which raised this question in my mind, but the TV series with the same title, finally prompted this write-up. I watched this series ardently, mainly because it revolved around a young woman with leukemia and her journey since diagnosis.
A lively young woman, career oriented journalist, April’s life turns upside down when she is diagnosed with leukemia. After a period of grief and confusion about the disease, keeping it a secret from her loved ones, she tries hard to maintain the routine she had always had. Her career takes a hit when she has to undergo chemotherapy, her sister has to leave private school education to compensate her medical expenses. She meets and falls in love with a guy with brain tumor, marries him, goes through the emotional turmoil of his death. These are some of the experiences of this young woman who would otherwise be thinking of parties and dates!
Not one person is totally independent rather everyone is intertwined with several others in one way or the other. In this story, April’s mother, sister, best friend, ex-boyfriend, uncle and step sister all play important roles. Her disease, treatment, important milestones (as they call it in the series) etc. have a significant impact on them, she plays an equally important role in every event of their lives..
Overall, the story talks about emotions, fears, love and support from significant others etc. in one’s life. For me, the series was captivating; there was never a dull moment; on the contrary, I would say there were several times when I had tears in my eyes (and I must reinforce that I am not one for the soap operas on TV!).
Anyway, this article is not meant to be a review of the series. There was one episode where April talked about how her perspective towards life has changed since her diagnosis. She talked about how simple things of daily life have become important now that she realized that her time is limited and life has become unpredictable, how living in the moment has become a motto for her. This was again emphasized with the story of her husband, a happy reckless millionaire whose life changed completely after his diagnosis. Afterwards, he was able to make a change, bring a smile to his friends as he brought their wishes come true; for some it was their last wish (friends from his support group), for some it was hope and for yet others it was by him just being there!.
A change in perspective, a new way of approaching the day ahead was reiterated time and again in the series. There was a change in attitude towards life, be it appreciation, gratitude or a longing to achieve the most possible of the limited time one has.
Is it how it is? Is it how it should be?
Most of us take our lives for granted! We assume that nothing is going to be wrong with our lives…
Why not appreciate this wonderful life we have been given? Why not spend every moment of every day fruitfully?